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The phrase "You're the Boss!" is a mantra for anyone who's ever had to face their own fears, struggles and even failures. It's time to take a deep dive into overcoming limiting beliefs, identifying where our past can shape us rather than define us and build a rock solid lifestyle and business filled with passion and purposeful leadership!

Hosted by Larry Roberts, each episode of You’re the Boss will bring you experience, proven techniques and mind shifts that you can leverage to develop the skills needed to achieve your goals and build your best life.

Apr 12, 2018

[00:00:01]Today, I have another aspiring author in the house with me. She is writing a book that is...I don't know if the name is going to be Calm in the Chaos but that's what her business is called. [00:00:26][24.9]

[00:00:28] Correct. Yeah I'm still hashing out or trying to figure out what I'm going to call this book. But yes my business is called Calm in the Chaos. [00:00:36][8.0]

[00:00:37] Well, Jamie Hunt welcome to the podcast. And don't you know we've tried this. I don't know, what is our fourth attempt? Oh well, hey persistence pays off in the end and that's how we're getting these books written is that we are staying persistent throughout the entire author adventure. [00:00:57][20.2]

[00:00:59] Yes, definitely yes, it's been fun. So now you kind of extended the timeline as far as the books go you know originally some of my listeners may know from previous episodes that this was all part of Laura Petersen's March Madness and the whole idea was for her to take on clients in the month of March and everyone write a book that month and go number ones on amazon in a variety of different Amazon categories. Now, me being as awesome as I am, I've already finished my book and... [00:01:32][33.5]

[00:01:33] Oh yes. Congratulations. Such an achievement. [00:01:37][4.5]

[00:01:38] Thank you. I am bowing, even though you can't tell. But hey, bring us up to speed on where you're at and what's your plan going forward. [00:01:47][8.5]

[00:01:48] There's you know what you need to get there. Yes, so I decided to take an extended March Madness. I know Laura personally and so before I joined the group I said I don't think I can do this in a month. I have children. I work full time like I just, I just know I can't do it in a month. So, that's fine, you can you can do in eight weeks if you want. So it's like OK I'll do it. So I'm working on that. I've kind of changed you know Larry, the last time we talked to kind of...changed to actually you know around my book a little bit kind of narrowed in on one of the subjects that I was one of the chapters actually has become like actually my entire book so a little reworking. And it's been fun. No it's fun to you know put your words on paper and you know get your thoughts out there. [00:02:36][48.3]

[00:02:37] So let me ask you that. You mentioned it's fun to put your your words to paper. Now that may have just been figuratively. But, are you actually writing the book or did you like me do it all electronically? [00:02:48][10.8]

[00:02:49] I'm sorry I'm doing it electronically. I guess when I'm like if I'm away from my computer you know I always have like a little notebook with me and like write stuff down occasionally I'll use the notes on my phone memo. I might just constantly like spewing information as much as I can and trying to save it, you know and then configure it into understandable book you just read. And you know it's funny. [00:03:13][23.4]

[00:03:14] I'm starting to format my book because you know as we've done it right now it's an e-book or an epub. And yeah it's a Kindle book. We can call it a Kindle book that sounds much more sophisticated than an e-book yet but I'm on the verge of shipping mine off and having the print version get under way. And I'm struggling a little bit to get it formatted but in the formatting that I've got so far and it's fairly accurate but there are still some little bugs to work out. You know my book turned out to be 87 pages long. Now that's not exactly you know, a Tolkien novel or anything but it's it's not Green Eggs and Ham either. But I would have liked to maybe write out like physically write it and I don't know if that's a generational thing or what but I think it would be kind of cool to be able to look back on those notes and see where you know I scratched out this thought and maybe play that thought and that sort of thing. So I mean I don't know maybe next time. Yeah. No it's Funda life right. Those random thoughts and I'll go back like in my notebooks I have just like random things and I'll go like can I write what I know that's gotta be plagiarism so then or like google it and just like make sure like nobody else wrote it. I don't know if we caught plagiarism. And then there's other stuff too and I'm like oh I wrote that. Scratch that out. [00:04:37][83.2]

[00:04:38] You know that's funny you say that too because you say that your book has centered in on one particular chapter. You know as I was writing my book I changed gears nearly 100 percent a week and a half two weeks in I almost feel like I did it in two weeks just because I was reading what I had written and I was like Man this is just a little too. Not on target. You know I'm taking this book in a direction that really wasn't the intended direction at all. So yeah I'm going to scrap all this and now I'm taking it here. Is that kind of how you went at it with this focus. Totally. Yeah I feel like yeah I'm like OK well I guess I'm writing my book your mom. Well you know I found that I was getting a little too sappy you know I was like Well yeah this is not an autobiography. However you know when I came home grown up in California and our tripped and fell at non US get me in the army you know you just there is way too much detail here that nobody cares about. Yeah well some people might say well I left a couple of sentences in there so I guess it was God instead of a couple of abjures. So Jamie tell me more about calm in the chaos what is it all about and how do you manage to stay calm in the chaos of of motherhood and business woman and author and all these different irons that you have in the fire. Yeah it's it's fun. How do I say it. [00:06:16][98.1]

[00:06:16] I it's not always call it it's chaotic but I try to you know look at what I really care about and not get caught up in. You know what everybody else is doing I think that motherhood it's really easy to you know start comparing yourself or there's so much information out there that they say you should do this and you should do that and if you don't do that you're a bad mom and so then you start taking on all this information and trying to do everything which it's impossible to do everything and then you know you're worn down and all that stuff so basically calm in the chaos is about kind of taking a step back. Figure it out. What are your values. What do you care about. And then Mommy in her like living your life with those values. And then I also talk about you know mindset and stress reduction staff and you know just kind of a lot of different things in motherhood and not being too serious about it. Having a good time. So that's kind of what it's all about as just from my experience as a mother I felt like there a lot of pressure to be somebody maybe you aren't. And there's a lot of guilt that comes with motherhood but I want to try and get get away from that. It's actually really fun. So tease us a little bit. What are some of the things you talk about in your book that help you maintain hey we won't call it CONMEBOL to say maybe even a sense of calm or a sense of sanity and sense of calm is a great way to say it. I think it's a lot like in my research and just personal growth. It's a lot about mindset. [00:07:55][98.6]

[00:07:55] And so realizing that you're like what I would say like looking at the big picture rather than looking at all the little things because a lot of times our brains when they're wired to look at all the negative things that's like what saved us when we're cavemen right. It's like how we were that fight fighter flight kind of thing how we survive but really now we don't really need to focus so much on the negative. But our brains are still wired like that. So kind of training your brain to like Focus on all these little things that are going great and sort of focusing on all the little things that are going bad and then you know looking at the big picture you know maybe my kid pooped her pants and what happened this morning. Oh I got a huge thing on oil like I had argan oil smashed on the ground glass and oil everywhere. But you know it's just part of motherhood it's not that big of a deal in the scheme of things so I think. I don't know if you know this Larry I think I've told you before but I'm a nurse in the ICU. So I think that that really helps to bring perspective to like all those little things because it's easy to get caught up in the little things and be like this day sacs but really there's usually a handful of things that can be grateful for and so focusing on the good and the bad and just kind of changing your mindset. And it takes practice. It's not something that happens overnight. [00:09:20][84.8]

[00:09:21] And I still have my faults and my slips but it's just kind of being aware of it and working on it. Well I think Foton slips that's human nature similar to what you were talking about with the fight or flight. But I think I could have used a lot of your philosophy with my kids as they were growing up my daughters getting married. Scuse me I got emotional. She'd get married adulation and so they're grown my sons grown as well he's not getting married yet but you know they're both as they were kids. My patience level was let's say minimal. But now you know I was kind of a kid as well. So it was by early 20s late teens early 20s when my daughter was born. My son just a few years after that so I was still trying to figure out how to just stay calm every day. Sure. Yeah totally. That you throw a couple Rugrats in the mix and it's a it's even a bigger struggle. But I commend you for being able to maintain that sense of calm within the chaos of just day to day life in neighborhood. So I'm not perfect. I don't. I try to say I'm not perfect by any means. Oh wait. Stop this interview. You're not perfect. I mean there is no sense in writing your book in reference to calm in the chaos. What is some of the biggest challenges you've encountered there. My book kind of I guess you have these ideas. Just expanding them and also bringing like a personal. I think when I when I read I'm more aware about what I read now. [00:11:04][103.4]

[00:11:05] I'm like why am I so engaged in this. Like why is this so interesting to me. And usually it's because there's like personal stories there's relatable topics you can't just say oh you should do this you know because then people are just like OK. Who is she. Why does she. You know what I mean like like she taught me how to think. Yes. Have to like craft the message you have to make it relatable you have to make it interesting. And I think that's kind of hard because I'm I'm not a writer. You know I have never written a book and so that's been a challenge for me. You know it's a challenge for me to say I don't feel alone there last night I attended a local business mastermind that I go to about once a month called Business soup and we go around the room because generally there's new faces that you know weren't there previously so we go around the room we give each other 60 seconds to introduce ourselves and say what we do. So they got to me I said Hi I'm Lee Roberts are readily random media and I'm also the host of The readily random podcast and he's a famous author. That's it. They were like Larry. You normally talk a lot more than that. But for some reason you know there are times when the what do we call it as an author where we pretend or we want to act like we're somebody but we don't think we're somebody. But we don't give ourselves the power to be somebody what's that called imposter syndrome. There it is right there. [00:12:28][83.4]

[00:12:29] The Impostor Syndrome that sets in so hard core with me there like Larry why do we need a podcast. You don't really need one I guess. No I haven't. No I don't like to position myself or I I tend to pull myself away from putting myself in a position to say you should do this because of this or myself as well it just like you said why am I telling somebody that their gardening business would be better with a pod cast. You know what I know about gardening. How is a pod cast going to help gardening you know and in all honesty pride podcasting and gardening. You're not related in any way but they can be. You have a part of your gardening. What do you do. What do you encounter every day that allows you to have more reach with your business. I can't tell you how to garden you know but I can tell you how to podcasts and a lot of times I still have that imposter syndrome that creeps. It doesn't just creep in. It comes in heart like a wave just slams into me and I just cramp home and that is a huge huge challenge to overcome. I think one of the things that's helped me is that my sister actually has told me before that Mike if you don't like put this information out there if you don't like it I'll give people this information you're actually like heart inadvertently harming other people because she's like that information is good. [00:13:57][88.0]

[00:13:57] So like when I put it out there I don't know if I'm explaining this right but like if you put it out there like you're helping other people sort of like helping yourself or like making yourself look good I think it kind of makes you think a little bit differently about it. I think maybe what you're saying is it's your responsibility to pass on the knowledge that you have. Yes yeah that's I think what she said. Hey you give me the imposter syndrome. I'll give you that. OK it's a fair trade. Yeah but you know it's the same way I would. Twenty five year martial artist and one of the big things that you know after you reach your black belt in two or three different systems you go wow. What do I do now. Right well responsibility to maintain the tradition of those arts and that knowledge that you gain so up to you know to pass it on and that's your responsibility. And I kind of let that permeate other aspects of my life as well. If there's not much that I have just like you said it's my responsibility to pass that knowledge on you. It was not something for us to hoard and watch others flounder when there's an opportunity for us to pass on some of the knowledge that we have that they can contribute to their lives and make their own lives easier. Definitely definitely. I assume you see that in the medical field as well. Yeah definitely definitely. If you know Elvie in that struggling along in your life or maybe a new phlebotomist right they come here and you go well you're having a hard time hit that vein right there. [00:15:29][91.6]

[00:15:29] Case you guys don't know phlebotomists that's a blood work specialist they come in and they draw your blood in that sort of thing. So I would assume I don't know if you're an Aryan or what your position is but if you are. OK so you're in and so odds are you're pretty good at drawing blood right. So you go hey little phlebotomists let me show you how to do that. And there you go you get it on the first step. Yeah I get what you're saying. Yeah I wasn't sure your you're talking but like for patients or for co-workers or what. Oh no I was definitely going for co-workers and you asking that that that are in knowledge that you have on to maybe they'll be in or or someone else you know that it's coming up through the ranks. Potentially yeah. Yeah definitely. Yeah I think we all have like a ripple effect right. We all have an influence or help people every day for our lives and then maybe those people will help other people. So that's kind of our responsibility as humans to pass that on. So true story. How many how many doctors have you had to say. Dr. Smith you need to draw blood like this. Well actually doctors don't draw blood. Oh so I got him often I shouldn't say like at our house. I work in a pretty hospital I work in the UC system and so it's just kind of like very specialized and I'm sure there's hospitals where doctors do trouble. [00:16:55][85.8]

[00:16:56] But we usually the nurses do it and actually in the ICU we have lines because everybody is so sick so we don't really have to put people that much which is nice. Now what. And this has nothing to do with calm in the chaos or to your book. Any Aranda. Exactly I am so random. I'm and my wife going on to be the other day you are really really mad about everywhere but I've never heard that term. We have lines. So what does that mean. Like we have central line so people can receive medical medications quickly and they go right to their bloodstream and it's just like these big lines and you can't impugns and draw blood from mom and it makes life really easy. Wow that's kind of cool yes but you don't ever want one. You don't want one. Oh no. You're really sick. OK. Well I don't want one for being sick. I could use one from a monster energy drinks though. Yes. Because they can like it mainline those we might save a few. Yeah. Tell me more about the book what's our ETR on the book. Hey. What are some of your plans going forward with the book how do you plan to present it to folks other than Amazon. Obviously you do a hard copy. Do you plan on selling that are you going to do a world tour or is it to her would be amazing. I'm actually so I'm like I said it's all about mindset. Mother is basically what it is. I think that that can help. And then I have different categories for that like your value is you know loving yourself. Gosh what was the other thing. [00:18:40][104.3]

[00:18:41] I can't remember the top of my head but anyway different categories all about mindset and then I'm planning to be done with at the beginning of next month. I haven't set an exact date yet. I'm a little scared of that but I probably should. Laura said me first so I guess that's what I'm going with. She kind of set my date normal. I got to tell you setting that date is the scariest part. Second only to starting the entire project that date is so intimidating. It is you just creeps lot. The last week I'm like oh my god. That's the fastest week of my life because you know I'm sure I'm sure. Oh my gosh. I'm at work of look at the clock. Oh. Oh my gosh. I was just counting down and I can't work on my book right now but I need to I know it's hard when you're like. Do you have other things going on. Look I can't just sit down and like write for like three days straight. And that would be wonderful. But I can probably make me more productive and I don't know if you can hear that in the background. I apologize. I'm trying to remain calm in my chaos right now. I don't worry about you know I pick up on very little in the background I have heard just a little bit but I figured that's Rugrats and that's not a big deal at all. OK. So go back and tell us about the book woodlands and so then and so then I'm going to do a print copy for sure because I just think that's so cool. [00:20:06][84.5]

[00:20:06] It makes it really official. And then I go from there I have not sure how else I'm going to know I'm going to use it as a marketing tool. You know now you have goals of of maybe speaking even locally or regionally and using the book as a stepping stone to get into speaking engagements. Or do you plan on using it potentially even just there locally with other mom. Yeah yeah definitely I was thinking like there's a lot of like prenatal yoga studio parenting classes like that kind of thing I kind of want to get in with that crew right and kind of working on my own parenting class that focuses more on parents instead of I mean it focuses on children as well but I think there is a lot that goes on with parents like relationships and how how life changes for you and how to deal with that and some kind of working out something right now. So trying to get in with that can accrue. And yeah definitely speaking I haven't done any official speaking engagements yet but that is part of the plan. I'm going to tell you they come right out of the woodworks. I've got my first one here and a couple of weeks that my work opened up for me with this the local business group has told you about yesterday that I went to yesterday that I was telling you about just a few minutes ago. I'm doing the presentation there and speaking on podcasting. So that's all right. I mean that's a bad deal. [00:21:41][95.2]

[00:21:43] And Laura she's got so many connections in the speech on a speaking tour and in the podcast industry and and all of that space there. I mean she's already been pointing me in this direction and suggesting I talked to this person and it's just it's just a great great deal. I'm pretty excited about that. That's great. And I'm sure it really helps too with like competence level and all that kind of stuff because you know people like you displeased when you start speaking to people and they're listening. It's just like wow this stuff really matters. You know it's great. You don't upset her about soccer. I'm such a sucker that it kind of puts more pressure on me whereas if I didn't have a book I was like oh I can talk about this all day because I'm not an expert but I have a book. So the expectations of your audience skyrockets and you're supposed to have all the answers and your project is supposed to be number one and you're supposed to say Joe Rogan who he had never one podcast. I do you know. Yes. So it's like oh my gosh the pressure is definitely there. But you know I accept it with arms wide open. So it is as long as people will have me talk I will be more than happy to talk. So yeah definitely we'll be prepared to because here's the downside. And I hope nobody's listening but well I hope a lot of people are listening but it's not these people people that I know that are like really close to me and that are just like moderately close to me. What Frege copies and I don't think they know that I don't get them for free. Yeah. [00:23:22][99.2]

[00:23:24] Yeah okay. Yeah I can do that. That's how will pay you you to read my book. Thank you. You're not going to be nice. You're not going to really go oh yeah I do Larry wrote live. Don't appear on my bookshelf. Oh my gosh. So what else. Jamie tell us something more about your book. You said that you had started off with the book going in one direction and change directions or actually kind of Cinar focused on one direction and one chapter became the whole book. Can you share what that chapter originally was. Or would that be a book spoiler. No that's fine. I was so I started out the book just kind of the first chapter was all about they. If you don't know who I'm referring to when I say they it's like they say swings are bad for kids they say you should create a circuit in your house where kids are better workers by the time they're 18 months. You're all like all these things they say and you hear it all the time as a mom you know like oh they say you're not supposed to do that. They say this and so I'm packable they a lot. And then I was like oh we're like why are we letting all these people tell us you know how to do things. And I realize there are some important things you know like there are things that we should do with our children and obviously we shouldn't harm them. Right but a lot of this stuff is kind of like wow it doesn't really make a difference. Right. [00:25:00][95.5]

[00:25:00] If your kid sleeps in a swing or if your kid sleeps in the crib you know like I don't think it really makes that much difference. But some people argue that it makes a huge difference. And so I think that it's up to you as a mom to you know be confident in your decisions. Figure out what works for you. You know make sure you're taking care of yourself so you can think clearly and you know not put so much pressure on like all this outside information because a lot of it is conflicting you know you can find a study that says you should do this and they can find another study that says you should never do that. And there's going to be people that are mad at you for doing one thing and maybe for doing the other thing and you can't really make everybody happy. And so yeah kind of trying to figure out that and navigate through all that and not always feel bad. So I hear from moms all the time that they're like Oh Mom guilt you know you hear it all the time like I feel so bad. They did this. I go back and then it's like so bad you're doing great. Yes. Did they survive. Then you did great. I mean is there a permanent injury. No. OK you did great. You do it. I mean I think of all people that are added that are part of they. Because I have a included in they as well at times. [00:26:14][73.6]

[00:26:14] Of course you have a medical background so you probably have a little insight above and beyond what some of the other they may say. Yeah maybe. No I think so. But at the same time I try not to like talk about a specific parenting style or like you should do this or you should do that I'm rather like here the tools like here's what what what's important here's like figure out what your priorities are and then make your district decisions based on that. You know like your own personal decisions rather than just being like oh I should do this because my neighbor does it right. And I think that applies to a variety of different avenues and in speaking of they. Does your book go beyond they. As far as parenting goes you you talk about they should they say you should have a date night with your husband or they say this or that need be going to that at all or is it really focused primarily on the calm and the chaos with parenting actually that they part. I really just talk about the parenting kind of stuff. And then I talk about to like from that I came up with like this. I didn't come up with that. I mean I've heard of it before but I think like a murder mom and dad because I feel like I've been a martyr mom for sure like I'll run around and like like here's an example but pretty exaggerated like your cleaning girl out in you're like mad because nobody's helping you clean the grout and you're like I'm still mad white. I always have to do this and it's like who cares. Like does a growl really need to be clean. I mean I hear you. [00:27:57][102.5]

[00:27:58] But why don't you have kids. She's up your wife everything she does honey that does not need. There is nothing going on right now that needs to be done. Nothing. He's just obsessed with it told us that she has to have a constant obsession. So yeah she's a murder bride. Yeah I feel like I've done that in the past and now like I'm just trying to be like you know what does it need to be done. Like I actually went got my hair done and I was talking to my hair stylist today and I was like yeah I've never got my my daughter's haircut yet she's going to be four and I'm just like you know what if it does it doesn't need to be cut like it looks fine. And it's one less thing I have to do like every six months so like I don't have to go bringers and get a haircut. It's just put a pony. Yeah pony she's for. I mean grab some scissors. Right. But that's like a simple example or just like I don't know. Like activities I think are you staying for like our generation leader. Kids are like in tons of activities. And I know like parents are like I don't have any time like I have to bring Tommy to this and that and bring them here and do this and it's like well you don't have to do that. Right. Right. No that's something you've imposed you know and that was big even when I was a teenager. [00:29:16][77.9]

[00:29:17] I'm 45 and so take it back 22 23 years ago and we were on the cusp of all the you know little Johnny has to be going to everything. Yeah. Little Johnny can't go out inside and play or go to his room and pull down a toy and play with it. He's got to be playing a baseball guy like I have nothing against parents or families that like to do the activities and that's great if that's your value. And that's what you want to do. But then you can't complain about. Exactly. Exactly. You know like I just I think that people get caught up in like you know they just are going with the flow and doing whatever and then they're just like OK I don't even like this. I don't want to do this why am I doing it. So I hear you you almost put me into that. You almost got me on a soapbox. I'm sorry. I'll step down and it sounds like our time is up. So sorry if it was allowed but at least I realized that what I have to deal with here and I'm sorry you sacrificed yourself for this 30 minutes. No it was wonderful. It was wonderful and I appreciate you having me on and it actually was my first podcast. So I hope everybody bear with me there that will. I hope I set the bar high and everyone wants to know and you go lead readily ran Irit thank you. And I think we're going to talk soon here too. Well quite possibly I think we may have caught up with Laura here shortly. So we will see.